Devil's Delinquent
by Dreamer's Will
Summary: Harry Potter is dead. The Wizarding World has lost its last hope of redemption from Voldemort's reign. Or has it? With unexpected help and renewed hope, a pheonix rises from the ashes. Contains SLASH!BOY ON BOY! SnapeHarry
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. This is my first fic. I got the idea when reading another story. I'm telling you right now that I do not own any of the characters that come from the Harry Potter series and I only own the things that come purely from my imagination. My cousin and co-author, Lori, won't help with the story so I'm on my own.

Summary: Harry Potter is dead. The Wizarding World has lost its last hope of redemption from Voldemort's reign. Or has it? With unexpected help and renewed hope, a pheonix rises from the ashes. Contains SLASH!!!!BOY ON BOY!!! Snape/Harry

Other Pairings:...you'll find out...haha

LONI

**Chapter 1: Meeting the Maker...sort of.**

Summer. Usually a time when students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were happy to have thrust upon then. The students ,by this time, would have been playing on brooms in the fresh air and sunshine, or swimming in a cool lake. They would have no cares, or worries, despite the threat of war hanging in the air. They would be sleeping in late and going to bed at odd hours in the morning. Indeed, summertime was what a student looked forward to the most. However, this summer wasn't as cheerfull for all.

Young Harry Potter, wizard extraordinaire and all around good guy, was having a miserable summer. He continually locked himself in his room when he could, thinking of despairing thoughts. He had lost the only person who could have offered him a safe haven from the miserable Dursleys. Sirius Black was dead. He had killed Sirius Black.

Granted, it wasn't his wand that had fired the shot to send Sirius plummeting through the mysterious veil, but it had been his actions which led to the man's involvement in the battle at the Ministry of Magic. Atleast that idiot of a minister, Fudge, had stated Voldemort's full return this time. It would have been difficult to deny, seeing as how the man had seen the Dark Lord himself, with his own eyes. Now the wizarding world was in a state of constant fear, awareness, and all around caution.

Currently, the Boy-who-lived was pulling the ever stubborn weeds in his 'beloved' aunt's garden. The weeds had grown back every summer that Harry had begun to suspect his Aunt Petunia had encouraged their growth while he was away, just to spite him. It wouldn't be the first time she had done something to make him suffer.

Harry straightened himself from his leaned over position to wipe the constant sheet of sweat from his brow, creating a smudge of dirt over his ever present scar. He sighed as he looked to his left. He still had about half the garden to do before he could take a break. He set his face into determined features and attacked the weeds with gusto. He kept telling himself _'just a few more and then I can get a glass of water. just a few more...'_

Before he had realized it, his task was completed. He blinked dazedly for a bit until he realized his aunt's garden was free from any weeds she so often complained about. Harry turned his sweaty and tanned face to stare at the mid-July sun. The offending sphere seemed to glare at him and Harry could have sworn the temperature has risen a few degrees. It seemed the sun had formed an alliance with his enemies, to be bearing down on him like this. He sighed as he got up from his knees and made his way into the house, being mindful to take off his dirty shoes, lest Aunt Petunia berate him for tracking dirt into her house. Harry closed his emerald eyes as a rush of cool air attacked his face the moment he walked into the house. When Harry opened his eyes after shutting the door, he came to a shocking surprise.

There, sitting at the dining table, with a pan of what looked to be freshly baked brownies, was his whale of a cousin, Dudley, and his bully in crime, Piers Polkins. They both had strange looks on their faces as they attacked a brownie each had in their hand. It was a shock that either one of them had baked the brownies. Harry wasn't even sure if Dudley knew how to cook, much less bake brownies. His cousin had been the bane of his existance, or atleast one of them, for as long as he could remember. After all, games of Harry-Hunting and 'Who can punch him the hardest' ceased to be funny after the first hundred times. Atleast to him anyways. They always seemed to amuse Dudley and Piers easily enough. Then again, with brains the size of walnuts, Harry supposed they were easily amused. Therefore, it caught Harry Potter completely off balance when his oversized cousin held out a brownie towards him. Harry, after a few moments of hesitation, took the brownie. He glanced at Piers then looked back to Dudley.

"What's this for?" Harry was sure there was a catch. He just wasn't sure what. Dudley looked up at him fully ,and Harry noted the slightly wild, watery blue eyes of his cousin.

"It's for you. Duuuu-uuuh" Dudley's statement sent both boys into fits of hysterical laughter and resulted in Piers taking another bite of his brownie and Dudley seeming to swallow his whole.

Harry looked at the brownie with a curious glance and turned suspicious eyes to his cousin. "Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?"

Dudley just waved him off and held up another brownie eye level. "These are magi..er.._special_ brownies. These help me lose weight and are good. It's a win/win brownie."

"Uh huh. Riiight." Harry just walked over to the sink, filling a glass with cold water, before leaving the kitchen. He took the brownie with him because, let's face it, he wouldn't have gotten anything had Aunt Petunia or Uncle Vernon been around. He was thankful that his cousin had been _nice_ enough to share the brownies. He shut the door to his bedroom and heard a soft hoot coming from the owl resting on his desk. Harry tore off a small piece of the brownie, giving it to Hedwig. He made sure it wasn't too much because he didn't know if chocolate was good for owls. He set his glass of water down on his bedside table and plopped down on his bed. He looked at the brownie for a full minute before taking a huge bite out of it. After decided that it was actually pretty good -Piers must have made them- , he ate the rest of the brownie quickly.

He never registered the weird after taste of the brownie, though. He took a sip of water, getting up so as not to spill the cold liquid all over himself. After taking a big gulp, he looked at the water. His eyes shot wide open when he saw little mermaids swimming around in his water. A hoot brought his attention to Hedwig, who was repeatedly turning her head in full circles, as if possesed. Harry immediately shot up out of his bed and walked to her. Her owlish face soon morphed into one of his Aunt Petunia's. When he heard the gleeful hoot coming from his strict aunt's mouth, he began laughing his head off. Opening the cage to let 'Aunt Hedwig' free, he watched her fly out the open window. Mouth hanging open, he stared at what he saw.

Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger were floating...FLOATING...outside his window. Not only that, but Hermione was dressed in a bright clown suit with dancing bunnies hopping everwhere on it. Ron had on a pink shirt with a picture of an elephant with wings moving around and a grass skirt that couldn't make up its mind which color it wanted to be.

Almost simultaneously, Ron and Hermione held their hands out towards Harry. Harry, in turn, moved closer to his two best friends. Hermione gave him a most dazzling smile.

"C'mon Harry. We need to get going or we'll be late for Voldie's tea party."

Harry looked curiously at Hermione. His attention soon focused on Ron though.

"Yeah, mate. Don't let the spiders beat us there. If we lose, we have to do the Macarena again."

At this, Harry smiled and took his best friends' hands, and stepped out of his window. He never registered the horrified scream of his aunt and uncle, who had just returned home, or the horrified look on his neighbor, Mrs. Figg's, face. He only just realized a falling feeling before the whole world was lost to him, a second's pain in his neck before he couldn't feel anything anymore.

**3 days later**

The wizarding world was in a state of shock. Their only hope, their salvation from the Dark Lord Voldemort, was dead. Harry James Potter was dead. That was why, on such a miserably raining day, people were outside. Sobs racked the small bodies of Harry Potter's classmates as each came up to his glass casquet to pay their respects. Many a silent tear fell that day as witches and wizards alike mourned for their savior.

Many had gone hysterical as they read the news of Harry Potter's demise. Many cried themselves to sleep for a week. Some people had a hopeless look about their face. Some looked as if they would never laugh again. A few people were in complete denial. One man in particular locked himself into his dungeons, making potion after potion after potion, trying to forget the death of Harry Potter.

**Someplace Unplottable**

The Dark Lord was in an indescribably happy mood. He re-read the Daily Prophet that Wormtail had so graciously delivered to him.

**_The Death of the Boy-Who-Lived_**

_by Rita Skeeter_

_The Wizarding World is in mourning today as the tragic news of our dearly beloved savior's death is made publically known.The short life of Harry James Potter was snuffed out yesterday afternoon as Mr. Potter plummeted to his death from his relatives' second story bedroom.His aunt and uncle had left to go grocery shopping around noon, leaving Mr. Potter and his cousin alone. When they pulled into the driveway, his aunt was shocked to see Mr. Potter standing on his windowsill, arms outstretched as if reaching for an invisible person. Mr. Potter took an extra step and fell out of the window, breaking his neck as he landed on the ground. Mediwitches found traces of a muggle drug - Acid- in his blood stream. They believed it to have caused hallucinations, causing Mr. Potter to unknowingly commit suicide. Sources aren't sure if this was Mr. Potter's first time on this drug, or if he was an avid user._

_Mr. Potter's funeral will be held on July, 23rd at 3:00 pm at The Potter Family Cemetary in Godric's Hollow. All are invited to attend. Visitation for family and friends will be on July 22, from 9:00 am to 2:00 pm, and public visitation from 2:00pm to 8:00pm._

Voldemort let out a gleeful laugh that shook his entire body. He didn't have to kill the boy now. The idiot had offed himself! With a muggle drug no less. Now, nothing stood in his way of conquering the wizarding world.

**Someplace Undefined**

Emerald eyes slowly opened as the youth stirred awake. His shaggy black hair fell into his eyes, stinging as the hairs grazed over the sensitive spheres. The boy jerked fully awake at the sensation and began furiously rubbing his eyes. A soft melodic giggling caught his attention and he began looking around, his hair flying wildy as he did so, exposing his lightning scar. His eyes came to rest on a girl around his age, if not older, sitting on a throne seeming to be made of pure obsidian onyx.He stood up shakily and took in the girl's appearance.

She looked very relaxed and seemed to gaze at him with an amused expresion playing her elegant features. Her silver dress was simple in design with a corset-like top, belled sleeves that hung off the shoulders, and a flowing skirt that swallowed her legs and feet. Her straight, ebony black hair seemed to be tied in a relaxed braid with a silver ribbon entwined in it. He noticed her skin was a creamy shade of ivory, and her features were sharp yet elegant. However, what caught his attention were her eyes. Her red, joyful eyes. He was used to red eyes being cold and maniacal, not amused and shining with life.

After studying the girl, he looked about the room. There seemed to be no doors, or windows, yet light seemed to come from somewhere. The walls and floor were made of the same onyx as the throne it seemed. He turned to her with a questioning look on his face.

"Speak your questions Mr. Potter. I will answer the best I can," said the girl in a voice fulled with mischief. Taking her encouragement to heart, Harry spoke.

"Where am I? Who are you?"

The girl smirked, as if he had played right into her hands. For all he knew, he did.

"You, Harry James Potter, are in Hell," at this, Harry's eyes widened," and I am known by many names, one of them being Lucifer." Harry's head rolled to one side, and his body went limp, falling to the floor. He had fainted.

The girl, now known as Lucifer, laughed a bit.

"Well, he took it better than I thought he would."

**End chapter**

BTW, sorry if you feel offended by Lucifer and Hell, but I must tell you that this story is not a reflection of my beliefs. I am merely using the ideas as entertainment. Fair warning, there will be loads more stuff in later chapters that might also offend people, religiously. Well, you've read my first chapter. I would be very appreciative if you'd review also. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay. It's been forever I know. I had to get through with some stuff before I started on DD again. But I'm here now, nothing to do for the rest of the day. My creative juices are flowing. I'm ready. Let's begin.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot and my own characters. J.K. Rowling owns the rest.

LONI

**Chapter 2: Reborn**

Mumbled and gargled voices were the first to break through to the unconscious mind of Harry Potter. As his mind traveled closer to consciousness, he became aware of words and their meaning.

"I didn't mean to scare him. It was his own fault for dieing." That voice, it belonged to Lucifer. Strange, such a childish, feminine voice would belong to the fallen star.

"Oh as if he really planned on dieing. You could have handled the situation a bit more tactfully," replied a deep baritone voice, clearly belonging to a male.

"Hey Salazar, just remember... applesauce."

At the mention of the other man's name, Harry's emerald eyes shot open, fear clearly evident in the shining orbs. He glanced around, noting the soft white bed he was resting in and the two figures beside either side of the bed. One was the girl who introduced herself as Lucifer. The other was who he assumed to be Salazar Slytherin. The man's shoulder length brown hair fell messily into sapphire eyes. His age seemed to be about 25, however Harry wasn't about to trust appearances. After all, Lucifer was how old, yet still looked 16. Yes, appearances were indeed deceiving. Salazar must have seen the fear in Harry's eyes. He frantically tried to explain. All the while, Lucifer wore an amused expression.

"Mr. Potter, before you jump to any conclusions yes I am Salazar Slytherin and no I'm not evil. She is though." At this, he motioned his head in Lucifer's direction, watching as her amused smirk became a scowl.

"I'm not evil, just misunderstood. There's a difference." She turned to Harry. "Harry, sweets, let me say a few things. First off, no one has called me Lucifer in a long time. I actually prefer Luc. Or if you want, you may call me Luci. Second, Hell is actually a decent place to spend the rest of eternity. It's not all fire and brimstone. That's just the vision I showed to those writers to install fear. Couldn't have my sanctuary crowded and what not. Third, this whole god is good devil is evil thing is a load of rubbish. Krys... also known as god... and I were actually in agreement on me being in control of an alternative place of rest. You see, Heaven started getting really crowded, so I came up with an idea. Why not have 2 places to go to? Of course, I do tend to get the bad ones, and truly evil people are sent to my 7th level. Usually after a while, they tend to mellow out and forget their grudges. After that, they really are great people to be around. There was no cosmic battle of good and evil. Just a chess game here and there. Any questions?" Luci looked at Harry with a curious glance.

Harry didn't know where to begin. Well, why not begin at the beginning. "Why did I get sent to hell?"

Luci smirked. "Well, you have been touched by evil. Krys looked into your life and decided I would be the best person suited for the tasks ahead concerning you."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What tasks?"

"Well, you do have a dark lord to defeat, in case it slipped your mind. Once you're trained up a bit, you'll be ready for just about anything Mr. Riddle throws at you."

Emerald eyes bore into red. " And in case it slipped your mind, I'm dead." Salazar snorted, but covered it up with a cough.

"For now, yes. But you forget Harry. I'm Satan. I can do whatever I want."

" Oh how silly of me to forget. But wouldn't people get suspicious if all of a sudden I show up at Hogwarts saying ' Hey sorry about that. Luckily I made friends with the devil so no harm no foul.' Yeah right. I can smell the St. Mungo insanity ward now." Salazar fully laughed at that.

Luci just shook her head. "You, Mr. Potter, have greatly underestimated me. Do you really think I would send you back in your already decomposing body just to create a mass panic? Although it would be amusing, it just isn't my style."

Harry stopped. "Already decomposing?" His voice squeaked. " How long have I been dead?"

Salazar took this question. " Well, it's confusing but try to bear with me. You have been passed out for 3 years down here. Weird I know. Seems like you just got here really, but only 3 days have gone by up in the mortal world. And while 3 days doesn't really give the body time to decompose yet, your magic has sped up the process. To any doctor, you would seem to have been dead for 2 months instead of 3 days. Basically for every 24 hours up top, one year will pass down here. Get it?"

Harry just nodded dumbly. Luci looked at him with a worried expression. It soon grew into a warm smile.

"Don't worry though. You'll get to go home again. You will have to get a new body though. But we will discuss that at a later date. You will be trained by some of the most notorious figures in history, both muggle and wizard. I want you to leave all prejudices at the door, so to spreak. Training will begin immediately. Your teachers will be as follows. Teaching you dialect and oratory will be Adolf Hitler. Tactics will be Grindelwald. Multianimagus transformations will be taught by Merlin. Magical subjects will be divided by Merlin and Salazar, depending on the skill of the teacher for each subject.Philosophy will be taught by Aristotle. Meditation will be taught by Ghandi. Medics will be taught by Jack, though I suggest never mentioning prostitutes around him. And for magical auras, weaponry, and hand to hand combat, you will be taught by yours truly." Snapping her fingers, Luci grabbed a rolled up sheet of parchment and handed Harry the paper and a quill. "You will follow your teachers' rules unless specified by me and only me. If you agree to the terms, sign your name. If not, be warned you will remain forever in Hell, never to return to the mortal world. What is your choice, Harry Potter?"

Harry thought hard for only a few seconds before signing his name with a florish. Luci took the paper and looked at the name. She grimaced. " Also, calligraphy will be taught by William Shakespeare. Hell knows you need it." She turned to Harry and stood up. "Nice doing business with you Mr. Potter." With that, she left the room.

Harry just stared at the door as though he had never seen it before, which to him he hadn't. It had just appeared. Salazar laughed and clapped Harry on the back.

"Congratulations Harry. You just made a deal with the devil herself." Salazar turned to walk out of the room. " I look forward to being your teacher." Slazar had said this with such an evil undertone that Harry actually had second thoughts about signing that piece of parchment. As Salazar left, a pair of black dress pants and a silk black button up shirt appeared at the foot of Harry's bed. A voice inside his head ( which oddly enough sounded like Luci) told him to get ready. Thus, Harry proceeded to dress for his first (conscious) day in Hell.

**61 years in hell/ 2 months up top later ( if you want his training chapter, email me)**

"Oh Ry...I'll miss you!" Harry Potter was enveloped in a hug by his eccentric calligraphy teacher. Everyone was either excited or mournful because today was the day that Harry Potter would ( unknowingly) return to the mortal world. All of his teachers had gathered in his luxurious bedroom to see him off. Only two people were not there. Luci and Salazar were running a bit behind.

In the 61 years Harry had spent in Hell, he had grown from a malnurished skrawny kid into a well developed slender man. He wasn't blossoming with muscles everywhere, yet a very defined stomach and firm arms and thighs suggested he was a fit young man. His hair had grown only slightly to where it fell around his face, giving him a boyish look. His face had lost all baby fat and now was defined and sharp. He no longer looked like James Potter, but his own person. His emerald eyes held a spark in them never before seen in Harry Potter. He was now a proud 5' 8''. Prying himself loose from the man firmly latched onto him, he smiled with a gentle warmth.

"I'll miss you too, Willy. Be sure to send me the next act of your play soon." Willy nodded and stepped back from the handsome youth. A man appraoched next who had a dark short beard, black hair to his shoulders, and shining brown eyes. He clapped the youth on the back soundly.

" Remember to give Albus my _best_ will you lad. It's been great corrupting his treasured student."

Harry smirked and nodded to the man. "I'll be sure to do that Grind. And it's been a blast being corrupted."

"Bah what's this about being corrupted! He's still as innocent as he ever was and I refuse to hear anything to the contrary." An old wiard stepped forth with a gleam of mirth in his black eyes. His white beard and hair reminded Harry of Dumbledore.

"Of course Merlin. I'm such an innocent lamb. I'll forever remain that way too."

Merlin snorted. " More like a wolf in lamb's clothing. The dark lord won't know what bit him."

Harry shook his head with a fond smile gracing his lips. He turned around when he felt someone trying to gain entrance into his thoughts. He smirked at a man with a yellow robe on and sent an image of a hamburger into his mind. The man glared fondly and bowed to him. Harry bowed back.

A satchel was thrusted into Harry's arms as soon as he stood up from his bow. He opened the bag to find all kinds of medical equipment. Harry turned to look at a man with round glasses and dark brown hair tied at the nape of his neck.

"For me? You're giving me your equipment?" The man nodded and cleared his throat.

"Take good care of it boy. It's served me well and it should do the same for you if you need it. Just...stay away from prostitutes."

Harry nodded. "I will Jack. I promise."

Jack nodded and stepped to the side to let a balding middle aged man through. He was wearing a toga and simple sandals.

"Be aware of all the opportunities given to you, though some will seem as if they are forced on you. This will assure your victory."

Harry's face grew solemn and he curtly nodded.

"Be sure to give that Malfoy boy hell. He may look like the perfect boy, but his attitude needs a serious adjustment," came a richly accented voice from behind Harry. turning around, Harry was greeted with his last teacher. Harry smirked cruelly.

"That is a promise I will gladly keep."

The man with a weird mustache just smirked back.

All the inhabitants of the room jumped when the door flew open with a bang. In ran Luci, dressed as a normal 6th year who attended Hogwarts with a green snake around her arm and wrist.

"Sorry we're late. Had to change and Sal took forever." The snake hissed angrily at Luci. Harry looked at the both of them before it clicked in his mind what they were doing.

"Why are you coming with me? I thought I had to do it on my own."

"Yeah right! Your cover would be blown the second someone said Potter. We will be at your side to help you. Besides, it's boring down here at best and with you gone, I'll be bound to plan some mass homicide attack or something. We are going with you. I'm going to be your daughter and Sal is going to be your familiar. Oh! Have you thought of a name yet?"

Harry nodded. " Yeah. I'm going to go by Romulus Evan Grimm. What's your name going to be Luci?"

The devil snorted. "Why I'm Nova Jamie Grimm. Daughter of the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher! "

Harry shook his head. " What did I do to deserve this?"

Luci laughed. "You died of course!"

Salazar hissed. " I'd hate to break up your sssquabble, but we have an appointment to make."

Both Harry and Luci nodded, faces serious. In a flash of black flames, Harry, Luci and Salazar were gone from Hell and transported to the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

**End Chapter**

Okay... Harry will now be called Romulus( comrades) Daddy( luci around other people) or Harry ( just luci and harry)

Lucifer will now be called Miss Grimm( teachers) Nova ( harry with other people around) or Luci ( lust harry and her)

I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. Again, if you want to hear about Harry's training, email me and I'll try to get you the training chapter. Just to warn you, it's EXTREMELY long, thus is why I didn't put it in the story.


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